Sunday, September 20, 2009

block that call...shred that junk...firms for which i have no affection...

I spent a good portion of my Friday evening shredding mail. Pulling the paper bits out of the envelopes that are not recyclable (ah, plastic...I loathe you in almost every form...). It made me think a bit about the firms that intrude on my time - by phone and by mail most often.


The alleged no call list is - I'm told - hard to get onto and harder to enforce.


I appreciate that people earn their livings this way, so I am prepared to be polite -- to a point.


Why so many firms want to push me past that point, I can't be certain; however, I'll do them the great courtesy of being polite and not naming those who either provide such dreadful service or intrude with such vigour.



The firm from which I rent my water heater hired another firm to market its other services. At least I presume that's what the water heater folks intended, but as I never got to that part of their canvass, I can't be sure. The phone rang. I answered it. The 'click' I heard first suggested it was some sort of telemarketing firm and that was confirmed by the canned message naming the 'communications' firm whose rep was calling.



A fellow (note deliberate choice not to use gentleman) came onto the line with a fine imitation of Tony Soprano's best, 'Hey...how you doin'?' I asked who he was and what he wanted, which prompted him to explain, 'Hey, I'm tryin' to be polite here.' Really? Good thing he explained that because my idea of polite isn't some anonymous voice I don't know calling to chat without offering identification -- like this will coas me into buying whatever he may be selling. (To quote from Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, 'Are you on commission? Remember me? Huge mistake!)



But wait, it gets better.


Again, I asked who he was an what he wanted.
At that point, he named the firm who supplies my heater (and whose marketing department hired another firm to extend our business dealings) and said with thinly veiled disgust, 'You do realize you're one of their clients.' Oh, I do...as will they, when my next quarterly bill lands and I use their alleged customer service line to draw this scintillating exchange to their attention. I affirmed that I did know that, but again asked what he was calling about...and got to listen to him tell his compatriots what a winner he had on the line. At that point I hung up.


It's doubtful I would ever have purchased any other service from the original firm, but had that been a possibility, their 'marketing' effort convinced me not to err in that way. What a great investment on their part.


Similarly, a credit firm continues to send me solicitations on an all too regular basis.

Their direct mail piece comes complete with a little, fake, plastic card showing what the card I could have from them might look like. That means I have to open the envelope, take out the paper, tear off the plastic card then begin the process of separating and shredding the solitication pieces I do not want.
Oh boy! That will make me love you!

In the case of the charities who lead the list of truly intrusive, I most dislike the one that insists on sending me a nickel with its pile o' paper and name labels. If the labels don't guilt me into it (along with the notepads, crappy pens and magnets), that nickel is sure to make me cave. I actually have donated to this charity. Usually, I sponsor someone participating in an event to raise funds for this group -- but their ongoing stream of junk I must manage convinces me to make that sponsorship my only contribution.



I like the firms who offer me the option of getting their news and junk via email. I can read their news or hit delete and not be worried about generating waste I didn't ask for in the first place.
I don't mind firms who send me a calendar once a year as part of an ANNUAL request for support. (I do, however, mind the ones who throw that calendar into a cycle of monthly mailings.)


I gave you money once...that does not connote interest in a continuing relationship on my part.

The competition is fierce...and my time is limited...the more you annoy me, the less likely I am to recommend you or continue to support you.

Plus I have a masterplan...I am going to start mailing it BACK...maybe with some of the other pieces I get just so the sender can pay the return freight.  Maybe that will convince them to ease off a bit.  I doubt it, but if nothing else it will let me share the magic of their inconvenience.