Tuesday, July 28, 2009

spelling tricks...not an adventure for the feint of heart

You must smile with wry enjoyment at the cheery souls who don't feel the need to spell with any concern for accuracy or consistency. Most times, the text foibles you trip over are a little like a stone in your shoe: they stop you with a wince for a minute, but you move along.

But every so often, you're graced with a thigh-slapper that stops you in your tracks.

Don't think so?
Try this at home...
Sit Spot sit....
Easy enough.
Add the random 'h' in and see what happens. For your safety, grab your roll of pick up bags before trying this at home...

I liked the hiccup that suggested this...

The union has gone to binding medication.

Speaking only for myself, let me say, "OUCH!"

This is not a benefit I'm keen to pay for...but maybe that's just me....

Binding mediAtion -- while not a walk in the park -- still seems a preferable alternative.

The best one I've seen in a long time came in on a resume last week.
Let's be clear...it came in on a resume for an alleged writer. For that reason, it's not fierce to expect some semblance of spelling.

Said writer offered details about occasional submissions to assorted editors and employers under this heading:


Who is Lance?

More importantly who has him in some sort of bondage in a basement.

And do we actually know Lance objects to this in some way?

One appearance is a typo that merits a certain brief mocking and chuckling.

But the second reference suggests the writer is either making a tacit offer or doesn't know any better. It's become a legend in some circles --not to mention one heck of a moniker.

I am glad the adventure that has been the screening of the candidates is coming to a close.

What people will offer as 'professional' detail on their resumes baffles me...

I do not need to know that applicants are hosts or hostesses of any sort...nor that they are talented professional tattoo artists, breastfeeding coaches...flying yoga enthusiasts...nor any sort of political hangers-on. What any individual does in his or her free time is his or her business...but offer those details sparingly....and always ask this question, 'Is this what the hiring firm intends to pay me for if I get this job?'

No PUBIC RELATIONS specialists need apply.

Monday, July 20, 2009

the scourge of screening candidates...57 in...

Typically, I like a good gamble. Really, I do.
And admittedly, screening for a contract colleague is like taking your Dad's best friend's son to your high school grad: nobody imagines it's likely to be permanent, but in a pinch, it might have to do.

Canada's one-year maternity leave is usually a boon to the process. A contract of a year is a reasonable length for a candidate to get into a role, make a good impression, and convince a team not to part with him or her. If all else fails, it's enough time to wrack up a few serious references and collect a tasteful parting gift.

It's a good theory.
In practice, it's not so glowing.

A lovely colleague left to commit maternity last summer. We all realized nobody could replace her, so our expectations were limited. We posted...and waited....and since our posting said 'writer with samples' we expected some degree of literacy. After round one, we decided the alleged candidates didn't really understand we meant EXPERIENCE writing. We noted PROFESSIONAL samples .

A reasonable person might surmise that this bold statement would be duly noted. That reasonable soul would be sorely disappointed.

We are three screenings in now.
We've had issues of fit...better offers...and applicants who just can't read.

In the current lot <59>, we have an intriguing and diverse selection.
We have a keen finance applicant who wants to do something called Quants. Even with the updated Webster, I can't quite figure that.

We have -- wait for it -- a grand total of four (4)(iv) who reference writing. Two are junior...two are of questionable stability. One refers to himself/herself exclusively in the third person. The last memorable character who did that was Bob, the character on Becker. Memorable, by the by, is not always a good thing.

With all the good folks who are on the market, you'd think one might blossom out of this growing pile.
I live in hope...there's enough manure at the moment to cover Don Corleone's impressive tomato plot.

I might go apply for something new myself...I wonder if 'want to be a neurosurgeon' or 'enthusiastic interest in delicate nuclear technologies' will lift me out of a pile....