happy mothers' day...to mothers...and aunts...and friends...

I had the great luxury of hanging out with my Mother today (capital intended). And because I am blessed to have her - close by, in good health, in sound mind - I am reminded that sometimes, gifts are more important than presents. It's one of the brilliant lessons my mother taught me, and on Mothers' Day - but hopefully, on every day - I hope that brilliant woman knows how valuable those lessons have been (and continue to be) to me.

My Mother taught me that sometimes, white lies are okay.  When I was a very little kid (really, really little) and my poor mother needed a break, she would sneak down the hall without shoes on because if I heard her heels, I'd know she was going somewhere.  Sometimes, bait and switch is an important lesson in preserving your quality of life.

My Mother taught me the importance of patience.  Two of the three of us were not easy children - by a long shot. I may hold the title for being most difficult.  I hope she agrees the time she invested in me was worth it because she is one of my favourite people on the planet and she is more than my Mother, she is my friend.

My Mother taught me a love of reading - and let me read anything I liked because she knew reading anything would teach me to love reading everything.  She read to us all as children (the purple Winnie the Pooh...about the birthday party...where Pooh and Piglet get Eeyore a honey pot and a balloon -empty and burst - but Eeyore loves them anyway; The Sleep Book - a Jedd is in bed...and the bed of a Jedd is the softest of beds in the world it is said...he makes it from pom-poms he grows on his head...). She bought me comics.  We trade books now. How great is that.

My Mother taught me to do the right thing - even when people think you're crazy to do it.
I watched her give back too much change...and walk back into stores when she hadn't been charged for things.  And when I do it now and I see the stunned look of incredulity on the faces of the folks who I walk back too, I think it was an important lesson.  

She taught me to pay my taxes.  And to be grateful to have the opportunity to pay for schools and roads and hospitals.  She's fun to cross the border with because she presents her bills and calculations to the border patrol...and some who have Moms like her smile and wave her through.

My Mother taught me to value dear friends.  She has played bridge with a wonderful group of women for as long as I remember.  There is never a family event that those women are not central to - and they are as devoted as she is, particularly when the chips are down. I love them all and I love running into them as they are fabulous company.

And I love the women who are like that for me: Pam, Carole, Louise, JoAnn and JoAnne (they travel in packs), Mel, Carrie, Kathy and Ruth.

My Mother taught me the importance of faith - even when you're not sure you believe.  She does. I wish I did more...but I have no doubt that Churches and Synagogues and Mosques and Temples...and all the Mothers who pray therein make us better people.  God Bless Them All.....

My Mother taught me the importance of devotion. She flew to her dying sister, managed her aging mother, sat with her dying sister-in-law - when the situations weren't easy or convenient or comfortable.  And she was brilliant every time.

My Mother taught me it's important to call...even when you're not sure you have something to say because sometimes just the comfort of your voice - and the gift of thinking about someone - is more important than you know.

My Mother taught me it was okay to not always be right.  To admit you're wrong...even it it's just to yourself...and to learn along the way.  Now that was a good lesson.

My Mother taught me to type.  She told me if nothing else, it would give me a chance to earn an honest living.  It has helped me in every job I had...including when I was the production manager for the engineers' paper and held my middle finger over the delete key.

My Mother taught me to laugh...boy, is that handy.

My Mother taught me to dress appropriately...I wish I could take her to the office and to school.

My Mother taught me that while clean is critical, tidy is negotiable.  Dust never killed anyone. Really.

My Mother taught me not to be afraid of spiders (name them all Charlotte and look for Wilbur...but don't bring the pig home).  I rescue them out of my bathroom and talk to them all.

My Mother taught me that adventures -big and small - are to be had.  Day trips to little spring ponds....drives to watch the swans...treks to San Francisco...they're all the things memories are made of.  My first memory of an adventure with her was to see a summer parade on James Street in Burlington...with ice cream.  It was wonderful.

My Mother taught me that among your friends and relations, diversity - of culture, of opinion, of approach - is a good thing.  You'll be better fed - in body and mind - if you take that approach.

My Mother taught me loyalty.  My Father was not an easy man, but she loved him fiercely and she misses him every day that he's no longer with us. As they grew old together, they grew together and in later years, I was amused at what good friends they were.  Before he knew he was ill, she did...and while she never approved of his smoking or drinking, we never went to Niagara that she didn't return with Marlboros and beer.  In his final weeks, she coaxed him with lobster and Velveeta and anything else she could think of.  When he was gone, she was resolute on only one detail: he had always talked about a pine coffin and a shroud in Ireland...and that was what she insisted he have.

My Mother taught me the importance of current events - local and beyond.  Reading the hatched, matched and dispatched - along with the headlines - tells you all you need to know before you start your day.  Also, it gives you something to talk about!

My Mother taught me the value of sacrifice.  Dogs are not her thing.  You wouldn't know it from the way she treats my Father's dog...or from the number of trips she's made with me to the vet.

My Mother taught me the importance of education - and she and my Father both saw that their children had a good one - and believed it was our duty to give that back.

My Mother taught me it was important to vote - even when the options aren't great. There are few duties you have to society - and many people made an ultimate sacrifice to make this possible.  It's only once every few years so even if you decline your ballot, go.

So when I asked if she'd like to go to brunch, she said she'd rather stay in, cook, and do the New York Times Crossword Puzzle.  So we did....then we went looking for shoes.  I got an iPhone (she won't even email)...she got Ibuprofen. And we had fun.

Did I mention adventures?

Thanks Mom....