I know, I know...it's a tame start. Photos will follow. There may be sound.
I may try to teach the executives at work to do this (which is really not the motivation for this part of the experiment...). Housebreaking wildcats and collies (we're batting about .650 on that count) is good practice for taking this to the office.
There are candidates' lapdogs roaming our neighbourhood unleashed of late. (Apparently, Animal Control can't contain 'em...nor some of the squawking children in these parts...)
We haven't seen a real candidate yet. We should have. The migration of the current trough snouters back to home ridings is complete and the opposition has ponied up alleged alternatives. Then again, you can make the case that in the elections currently underway in Canada (our turf) and the U.S., real candidates are an endangered species who require more protection than the polar bears (who are gonna need large pool noodles and K-rations of seal tartare if these arctic shelves keep collapsing -- but don't let that global warning hijinx boil your blood...just let it keep boiling the oceans).
The campaign volunteers are generally nice folks. I'm hoping for a different hobby in retirement, myself. We have a fairly reliable screening system at our house: the actual candidate gets bonus points for making an appearance (last time, only the Green party guy came to the door in person.)
Our early warning defense system (Foster, Shadow and Amber) let us know when intruders approach: squirrels (which you could suggest applies to the aforementioned candidates - if you don't mind insulting the actual ones with the fuzzy tails), paper carriers, candidates. Once they sound the alert, our candidate rating system kicks into gear.
- If candidate or candidate's minion flee at the sound of the collie choir: no points awarded. If you haven't got the gumption to face three yappy housedogs parliament is no place for you (even with Sheila Copps in retirement).
- If candidate or minion approaches...retreats...or vaults onto the porch, jam junk into the mailbox and flee in haste: 1 point awarded. Reasonable representation of the flip-flop behaviour that determines the longevity of back benchers in Ottawa. (Did I promise to do something...and reverse...well of course I promised...I needed your vote...you'll forget over four years -- or three if the same government gets in and sees a chance to extend its reign of error.) **Note we will be trying to capture this for later posting. It's fun to watch! **
- If candidate or minion approaches...faces collies...knocks or rings: 2 points awarded (minus 1 if they flee at the site of the porch cats).
- If candidate or minion speaks and can articulate any reasonable position on any major issue without referring to notes: 3 points awarded. Bonus points for being able to speak to the end of the 40 year mortgage, its value to the overall stability of the banking system, and the hiccups it will create in Calgary and Vancouver - never have to award these, but it's important to know they exist).
- Candidate or minion pet dogs, smile like they're sane and utter anything more than 'Can
count on your support?>: 4 points. Minus 2 if we ask why and there's no compelling answer. (Hint: three collies at the door, Memphis and Beans on the porch: take a leap and figure the bill to boost fines for cruelty to animals might be a good opening bid....)
Last time out, we liked the Green guy (it's a party...not a politically sensitive description of the man's complexion). He was personable, earnest, sane. We knew he didn't stand a chance but it felt good to tell him he could count on us. The dogs liked him -- and dogs have better sense that most voters. (Option two was the fully-vested-in-the-pension former MP. Elect her campers -- you're gonna pay for her anyway....)
You have to like all the righteous hand-wringing and fretting about the U.S. banking system. Some looks almost genuine. Let's not dismiss the real concern at play: there go a ton of future campaign donations. Some curious reporter might yet check to see which of the defunct firms ponied up for the GOP and the Dems. Some other might check to see if Lehman Brothers execs forgot to before their junior staff got left swinging.
It's actually a simple explanation: GREED.
I get those emails too...the ones touting the GREAT WATCH AT A GREAT PRICE...or telling me if I just take delivery of the cheque the deposed prince of
And the difference between the mortgage bubble, the hedge funds, the inflated values of the alleged pillars of the financial sector and those emails: oh, right...we arrest the emailers if we can catch 'em.
Put it this way...four legs good...two legs bad...
If you don't know what that means Google Animal Farm. The George Orwell version.
More on the ancient cat next time.
Gin
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